Thursday, December 19, 2013

schmoopsie is NAKED!

ZOMF, you guys! GUESS WHAT!!!! those unnecessary things that companies make just because they want to sell them to you and they get really great marketing people to make you feel all warm and fuzzy buying their product so they rake in a shitload of money because it worked and we buy them and they win and never stop winning and we're poor all the time and we don't know why *loooooong breath* you know those things? the internet says phone screen protectors are one of those things

obviously, part of that ridiculous phone price we pay includes a screen that isn't made of snowflakes held together by unicorn semen. if they can make lenses for your glasses that don't get a scratch every time you burf on them, the screen on your phone should sure as fuck stand up to some* abuse. 

this may not be news to you. congratulations, show-off. i've been slapping one of those stickermabobs on since my lg env touch in oh-nine and never gave it another thought. even though i noticed that the sticker on my htc incredible was mint at removal when upgrading to the incredible two... registry error. when the geniuses at zagg developed invisibleshield hd, i was soooooooo excited to be rid of the sticky original... time-out, not necessary, STOP! i'm not a phone murderer; i keep my keys away from my gadgets (soon to not have keys at all, woot!); i don't have drooly babies going through my purse very often; i don't need to spend gobs of money protecting my phone with the equivalent of rental car insurance. if i inflict enough harm to slice the screen, then it's probably going to be cracked and/or broken in other irreparable ways anyway. 

so i unstickered my schmoopsie. took her out of her phone condom to experience how she feels on my skin... FINALLY! she feels super nice, like she was meant to be touched; yeah, i know. 


i also removed the gelaskin she was wearing because it was getting old and the invisibleshield was under part of it anyway, but i left it on her button for a little flare. i'll probably get another gelaskin in the near future because they're fun to look at.

obviously, i'll come crying to you the second i drop her down three flights of those horrible gravel stairs and she remains in once piece but for the gnarly gash on her screen, pfsh. 

the * over "some" indicates those who are aware of their phone murdering tendencies should ignore this post completely and do the best they can to protect their investment with a bulletproof otterbox and maybe consider a bodysuit otterbox while they're at it... not my fault you like those big expensive purses with only one tiny zipper pocket for your super fancy lipstick to be easily found in the jumble of crap you absolutely have to carry with you at all times. *smooches*

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