in my mind, christmas = stressful. it always has, no matter what age. obviously the stressors have changed through the years, but i always felt the stress and such anxiety over it all. i remember a few christmases as a kid, struggling to sleep all night because my stomach was in giant, tangled knots. i didn't get up early to unwrap gifts so i could see what they were finally and have them; i wanted to get it over with so i could sleep! what kind of bullshit is that!? people get so nostalgic about their christmas morning traditions and how they were so excited to open gifts and blah blah blah. i liked christmas day and dinner, not christmas morning. christmas day, i got to hang out with my family, helping mom and grandma cooking, getting to learn how to make sweet potato caserol, playing with the stuff i got, wearing the cool clothes i got, watching football with dad and grandpa, playing skip-bo after dinner and pie. i liked the thanksgiving parts of christmas. i always thought it would be more fun to have two thanksgivings and two birthdays every year instead of christmas....
OMF, you guys! let's have two thanksgivings and two birthdays instead of christmas!!!! you could do your normal birthday and your half birthday or another day approximately six months from your real birthday of your choosing... everyone with a cold birthday can finally have a pool party too!!! BRILLIANT!!!!! though, i'm still stuck on major-out-of-town-holiday-weekend birthday ROFL! memorial day... and thanksgiving.
my parents had such wonderful and thoughtful things they did with us. the things we did leading up to christmas were fun and exciting. making mixed tapes (then cds, then playlists) of holiday music. i'll never forget listening to the tapes copy on my dad's stereo in fastforward... the way bono's infamous "yeah" from "it's christmas (baby, please come home)" sounds in alvin's voice, priceless. making batches and batches of no-bake cookies (easily made vegan); trying not to eat them all. looking at all of mom's beautiful ornaments as we pulled them out to hang on the tree. christmas dresses! learning how to wrap gifts and perfecting my skills on the odd shaped packages; i refuse to resort to bags! et cetera. point is, i'm not damaged goods with painful memories i'd rather not visit. the opposite, i'm trying to preserve the good things i have inside me about my christmas experience by not letting myself stew in the hatred of it for one moment longer.
it's so inefficient! i have to spend time with and buy gifts for EVERY SINGLE PERSON i care about, all at once, every year... i'm not santa clause and i don't have a delorean nor a dubai first master card with diamond embedded crest, wtf. it all becomes so fake and forced; i have to make the effort and play the part... because it's christmas time!
kay effie, whatever.
*insert record scratch* NOT WHATEVER! just stop, plz, kthxbi! we'll see what adventures i have on my first year of ignoring consumermas.